The 80% Factor

I get my humor from my dad, my ability to over analyze any situation to the fullest from my mom, and my blue eyes from both of them. Also from the Wolfe side of the family comes an affinity for competitive sports (though none of us were gifted with speed), and the dreaded 80% factor. The 80% factor is the name I have bestowed upon my tendency to bail on projects once I am 80% complete. Thankfully for the churches I serve, this horrible trait has isolated itself to my personal life, and mostly centered around home improvement projects. I can begin any new project with gusto, pass the half way point with enthusiasm, push myself through the 3/4 mark without losing stride, but then - out of nowhere - I hit the 80% wall and my genetics kick in, and everything inside of me wants to stop. Frustrating huh?!? To be so close to the finish line that you can see it, but yet something makes you run out of steam, and throw in the towel. As a youngster, I was stopped in my tracks many a time by the 80% factor. Now that I am wise to the ways of the world, I still struggle with this reality of what it means to be me. Just this weekend I launched into a new project of refinishing a daybed/trundle bed that we purchased from the Church Wide Garage Sale. I sanded each piece of the bed diligently, making sure to go back and sand by hand what my sander couldn't reach. Then I painstakingly cleaned each section with cleanser, to make sure they were dirt and saw dust free. I then carefully began to prime each part, making sure to give it an even coat, and to watch for globs or drips. I had finished with 2 of the 3 sections, and stepped back inside to allow things to dry before beginning on my last piece. And then it happened...the 80% factor reared its ugly little head. It was hot outside, I was tired, I'd had a full day at the church that morning, I'm pregnant, my feet started to swell. About a million other justifications (okay - excuses) ran through my mind, but the reality is that it was just my 80% factor trying to hold me back once again. So close to the finish line, but yet so far away.
One of my favorite bible verses comes from 2 Timothy, chpt 4 verse 7 which reads, "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." The author of 2nd Timothy is honoring the struggle that he had overcome and yet still held fast to his faith in Jesus Christ. Some two thousand years later, these words still ring true as a challenge for each of us as we struggle through our daily faith journey. The Christian journey is not an easy one. It is a road paved with challenges and growth, and path designed to lead us closer to God, and closer to being the people that God has called us to be.
My prayer today is that we would all over come our own roadblocks, our own inadequacies, our own self doubts and push onward to the prize that is a full life lived in Jesus Christ.

Elyse's new daybed - completed 8/31/09

teacher vs. student

I came across the following quote, and it has been following me everywhere, rattling around in my head incessantly:

Perhaps one of the reasons my child chose me as her parent
was because there was so much I needed to learn...

I tend to think of my role as parent as always being the teacher, I forget just how much my children have to teach me as we grow together in life and love. In this day, I will be mindful of the wisdom of my little ones, and do my best to be always learning and growing.

Bottle the Excitement

Today, I held Claire's hand as she skipped into school, chattering up a storm, with a smile as big as the sun stretching from ear to ear. She loves school, and can't wait to go each morning. I wish that there was some way to bottle Claire's excitement, to save for those teenage years where I expect I will have days that I have to drag her to school. In fact, I wish there was some way to borrow some of that excitement for myself, to save for those days that seem to loom oppressively before me.
It's sad how even the activities we love the most can become boring and routine after a time. The trick is to be an effective rememberer - to allow ourselves to remember again why we love the things we do, the people we hold close, the God we serve. Then - every day can be as fun and exciting as our first day - but we already know where the lunch room is!

A Working Plant

Drew and I celebrated out 10 year wedding anniversary a little over a month ago. As part of the decorations, we had beautiful flower arrangements (one of the perks of having an awesome florist as a member of your congregation!). Within these arrangements were orchids, mums, lots of flowers that my un-gardeny self couldn't hope to name, and willow branches. After the party, we brought home all of the arrangements and scattered them throughout the house to enjoy. Over the next week, the flowers slowly began to wilt, and so we would pull out what Claire calls the 'broken' flowers, and rearrange the others. After two weeks, we were left with only the willow branches. I planned to throw them out as well, but Claire noticed that one of the branches had put out roots, and demanded that we "save the sticks, because they are still working!" Over the last month, all of the branches have put out extensive roots, and shot out bright green leaves. It's amazing to me that something that just looked like a dead stick could bring forth new life.
2nd Corinthians chapter 3 verse 6 speaks of the new life that comes from the Holy Spirit. I suspect that many of us have experienced times in our lives where we felt like a dried up old stick - useless, unattractive, of no value. The restorative power of Jesus Christ has no end, and with the healing power of the Holy Spirit, new life can spring from the most wasted life that we offer to Christ. We just have to keep filling up those vases, and trusting in God!

I've got the Joy, Joy, Joy, Joy down in my heart!

Last night Drew and I took in the Cinematic Masterpiece, "Confessions of a Shopaholic". Okay - not bad when you paid $1 at the Redbox, but I kinda feel for anyone who took out a loan and went to see this flick at the theatre. The story line centered around Becky, a young journalist who has a shopping problem. She explains that shopping makes her feel fulfilled, excited and ultimately happy - until she gets the bills in. Then Becky feels like a failure, and so once again has the need to boost her emotional state with a shopping spree. And so the destructive behavior continues.
As I tried to relax enough for sleep to find me, I reflected on the obsession we have with wanting to be happy, and the lengths so many will go to feel that way, if only for a fleeting moment. Happiness, by default, is conditional. We are only happy when the right circumstances fall into place. And so racing after happiness is kind of like a puppy chasing its tail - he might catch it for a moment, but eventually will have to let go again. Searching for happiness is also inherently self-centered. What needs to happen in MY environment to make ME feel good about MYSELF.
Nehemiah 8:10 says: "Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." Rather then focusing on the temporary fix of happiness, our energies would be more productive searching for a deeper, more permanent life filled with joy. As Christians, our hope is in the restorative life that comes with a relationship with Jesus Christ. Hope in Christ leads to joy in life. Happiness can come and go as quickly as a summer storm, but joy in our risen Savior is steadfast.
Today, my prayer is that rather than scramble with fleeting fancies, I would rest in the restorative joy of my risen Savior.

A Day of New Beginnings

Today is the first day of Kindergarten for the Kraus house. All of us trooped out before the sun was even over the horizon to settle Claire in to her classroom. She was beyond excited, grinning and skipping her way up to the classroom. Today I am mindful of the excitement of new beginnings. I know that there are some events in life that only happen once- the very first day of school, the first day of being a spouse or a parent. These days hold a special place in our hearts and minds, and understandably bring about much anticipation and excitement.
Each and every day we are given on this earth offers us the possibility to enjoy a new beginning. We always have the opportunity to turn ourselves over to our loving and patient God, and to allow ourselves to enjoy the freedom of a new and a deeper life in Christ - and I think that is plenty of reason to grin and skip a little!