Noni the Great!

 A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.
Lois Wyse

Almost 9 years ago my mother became the smartest woman in the world - and in the same instant, ironically, all my age old, infamous adolescent sins were magically forgiven.  What earth shattering occurrence brought about these two sudden changes?  The birth of my first child, Claire Lynn.  In that moment I became a mother, and I realized a love and fear, a pride and utter confusion that completely overwhelmed me (and to be honest, still does!).  I was good for the first 3 days - primarily because we were still in the hospital and the neo-natal nurses did pretty much everything.  Then, they kicked us out, and sent my husband and I home with this new little person.  There were no instructions included, no hints as to how to proceed, and none of the nurses - not a single one of them - came home with us.

Noni with Calyn

My first phone call was to my mom.

I have always been close to both of my parents.  We've gone through what most families go through: We've struggled with our normal share of adolescent crappiness (that would be me) - the angst of re-understanding our relationship when both parties are now adults (that would be my parents), and the transformation that comes when suddenly, there are new little people in the family!  

Noni being crafty

One of my favorite things to do is to watch my children interact with my parents.  There is something magical about the relationship between a child and their grandparent - I think it shows the beauty of an indulgent love - it helps us catch yet another glimpse of how deeply our God cares for each of us!  

Our God loves us indulgently!  Our God forgives and forgives unceasingly.  Our God makes allowances and gives us second chances (and third, and fourth).  Our God sees past our messiness and sees the beautiful child of God under the dirt, and the peanut butter, and the sin.  Our God has an endless supply of hugs and stories, smiles and cheese crackers.  (Okay - I might have gone a little far with that last metaphor - but you get what I mean!)

Today, as I gather with my family to celebrate our Noni (the grandmother formerly known as 'my mom'), I thank God for the gift of my mom.  She has taught me how to always strive for excellence, how to actually finish something that I have begun, that you never quit worrying about your children, and that butter makes everything better.  And as I watch both of my parents shamelessly spoil my children, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that as good as today might be - the best is yet to come!  :)

Today will be =

This morning on the way to school I asked Claire (my 5 1/2 year old) what kind of day she was going to have at school. "I don't know mom, she answered, "I haven't had my day yet."
"But what kind of day will you have?", I asked, "Good, great, awesome? Let's not wait and see, but rather decide now and help it happen!"
Today I pick an awesome day - filled with living life and loving God. If I choose awesome, I'm pretty sure I'll find some awesome. What kind of day will you have?

A God Moment

This weekend, I was cradling Elyse, my 14 month old, in my arms and just admiring her; staring at her beautiful hair, tickling her little Buddha belly, and kissing her toes (as she repeatedly attempted to shove her feet into my mouth). It was one of those parent moments when you feel overwhelmed at the perfection that is your child, and your heart aches in your chest from love and pride. And then, in the midst of my mommy-moment, the Holy Spirit reached out and grabbed hold. I suddenly had this realization that the way I was feeling toward my own child in this moment is exactly how God feels about me. God, the creator of our universe, the sustainer of all life, looks at each of his children (that would include you and me!) with wonder, and overwhelming love and pride. What a lucky group we are!

Baby Flowers

Over the weekend, I picked up a little flower growing kit from Joann's Fabrics. It came with a soil pellet, tiny terra cotta pot, and seed packet. Claire and I mixed up the soil and carefully planted the seeds and placed our little experiment in the kitchen window. Claire and I have planted various things before, and she has learned that it normally takes several days if not a week to see any progress. Apparently, these seeds are different! The next morning, just a little over 12 hours from when they had been planted we saw several of the little plants pushing up above the dirt. Now, three days later, all of the seeds have sprouted and stretched over an inch above the soil line. It's incredible! All we have done is add a little water, keeping the soil moist. The seeds already have included within themselves all the nutrients they need to start out in life.
Just like the seeds, we, as children of God, have within ourselves all that we need to spring forth and grow in life. In the power of the Holy Spirit, we have a piece of the divine inside of us, giving us the strength to reach up towards are all loving Creator. Today I pray that each of us would realize how special we are to God, how much strength we each possess, and how beautiful and fulfilling it can be to stretch our arms up to our God.

A Rainy Day Perspective

When I look out of the window and see dark skies and rain pouring down, I think of the hassle of getting wet, of commuting on slick roads, and no hope of a good hair day. When Claire looks out at a rainy day, she dances for joy at the prospect of donning her pink kitty cat galoshes, yellow puppy dog rain coat, and carrying her rubber ducky umbrella. Same day, same circumstances, different perspectives. Each morning we have a choice as to how we will approach this day that God has given us. Today - I chose to honor my Creator, and praise God in this storm!

My Chubby Bubby

I'm sitting here at the kitchen desk watching my 14 month old throw down lunch as if it might be stolen from her at any minute. She is just the cutest little chubby baby in the world! (even with her current coat of milk, broccoli and cracker grime). When I look into the shining faces of my children, for a moment it seems that everything is right in the world. Children represent promise and possibility - a hope for tomorrow. They are a reminder of the awesome creative power of our loving God. Today I praise God for his abundance of blessings!

The Dream Maker

At "meet and greet" the teacher day, Claire's teacher gave each student a pretty glass stone along with a slip of paper. The paper instructed the kids to place the stone under their pillow while they slept, so that they might have beautiful dreams of their first day of Kindergarten, and so that all those dreams might come true. Claire was totally enamored with the stone - it was pretty and green and shiny, right up her alley! When it came time to tuck Claire into bed that night, she was really hesitant to place the stone under her pillow. Misunderstanding her concern, I assured her that she wouldn't lose the stone. Her fear wasn't that the stone would be lost, but that the stone would work as the note had promised, making, 'all of her dreams come true'; a pretty horrifying prospect to my little literal 5 year old. But hey - I'm right there with her, I'm a grown adult and I certainly wouldn't want some of my dreams to follow me into waking reality!
There are 2 kinds of dreaming, the kind that happens at night, when our subconscious mind takes over and runs rampant, and the kind that happens during the day, when our hearts take over, we allow convention to fall away, and our wants and wishes to flourish. Night time dreams are unavoidable, we just hope for more ones about flying than falling. Day time dreams are optional, and my prayer for today is that all of us would choose to dream. Just for a moment each day, let your heart rule, allow your soul to reach out and be who and what you have hoped to be.

teacher vs. student

I came across the following quote, and it has been following me everywhere, rattling around in my head incessantly:

Perhaps one of the reasons my child chose me as her parent
was because there was so much I needed to learn...

I tend to think of my role as parent as always being the teacher, I forget just how much my children have to teach me as we grow together in life and love. In this day, I will be mindful of the wisdom of my little ones, and do my best to be always learning and growing.

Bottle the Excitement

Today, I held Claire's hand as she skipped into school, chattering up a storm, with a smile as big as the sun stretching from ear to ear. She loves school, and can't wait to go each morning. I wish that there was some way to bottle Claire's excitement, to save for those teenage years where I expect I will have days that I have to drag her to school. In fact, I wish there was some way to borrow some of that excitement for myself, to save for those days that seem to loom oppressively before me.
It's sad how even the activities we love the most can become boring and routine after a time. The trick is to be an effective rememberer - to allow ourselves to remember again why we love the things we do, the people we hold close, the God we serve. Then - every day can be as fun and exciting as our first day - but we already know where the lunch room is!

A Day of New Beginnings

Today is the first day of Kindergarten for the Kraus house. All of us trooped out before the sun was even over the horizon to settle Claire in to her classroom. She was beyond excited, grinning and skipping her way up to the classroom. Today I am mindful of the excitement of new beginnings. I know that there are some events in life that only happen once- the very first day of school, the first day of being a spouse or a parent. These days hold a special place in our hearts and minds, and understandably bring about much anticipation and excitement.
Each and every day we are given on this earth offers us the possibility to enjoy a new beginning. We always have the opportunity to turn ourselves over to our loving and patient God, and to allow ourselves to enjoy the freedom of a new and a deeper life in Christ - and I think that is plenty of reason to grin and skip a little!

Recognizing Vs. Knowing

I am so amazed and proud of my 4 1/2 year old Claire! Claire can officially read! We followed the normal progression of learning the letters of the alphabet, then learning the sounds each one makes, then learning the blends that the can make when placed together. Claire has 'recognized' words for some time, but recognizing a word or name is not the same as reading it. Last week, we sat down and read two simple books. Claire can sound out the letters, and read the words. One of the books even has short sentences (ex: See Tip run.), and Claire can knock it out with ease.
It is the best feeling in the world as a parent to see your child get it - really get something and understand it on their own!
In rejoicing with Claire this week, I can't help but think about this idea of recognizing versus knowing something. Claire recognized her name because other people showed her the letters, and told her it was her name. Before she could read, Claire knew her name because other people knew her name. As Children of God, we first come to recognize God because other people have a relationship with God, and point him out for us. We know God, because other people know God. The goal is that eventually, with enough practice, we'll be able to know God for ourselves. Who taught you to know God? Who are you teaching to recognize God? Never underestimate the gift you have to share with the people around you, by recognizing God's love and life in the world around us and sharing it with others!

Wade in the Water

Elyse, my 10 month old is getting baptized this Sunday. She is such a joy in my life, and I am so very excited to make this commitment to raise her within the church, and to introduce her to a life in Christ. Baptism is a beginning; A statement that says, "I want to know God." As Ely is an infant, Drew and I are making this statement for her, and I don't take it lightly. I will do everything in my power to encourage both of my girls to develop a personal, deep relationship with our loving Savior. Claire was 18 months old when she was baptized, and screamed like a banshee! (You can see this for yourself in the above picture!) Here's hoping that Ely's initiation into a life in Christ is a little quieter!

NO NAPS!!!

So, why is it that children will refuse to nap, doing everything possible in their little power to remain awake when the exhaustion is overwhelming? I would like nothing more than to be given a bottle, rocked gently, cuddled up with a soft blankie and lullabied off to sleep. (Heck - you had me at bottle!) Rest is such an essential need. Without it (or enough of it) we cannot be the people God has created us to be! God tells the prophet Elijah to climb up onto Mount Horeb, and there God will meet with him. Elijah climbs the mountain, and retreats into a cave. First, there is terrible wind, then a great earthquake, and then fire - but God is not in any of these awesome earthly occurrences. After all the ruckus has passed, there is the sound of sheer silence, and it is here that God appears.
My prayer today is that I will find this illusive silence, and may finally settle into a place where I can hear the voice of God.

Still Pretty New...

On our drive home last night, Claire (my 4 1/2 year old) was monologuing on her age, and her upcoming birthday. "I'm going to be 5 mommy, and then one day - I'll be 10!"
"I know honey - and when you're 10, will you be old?" I asked.
"No - when you're ten, you're still a kid. " Claire said. "But daddy - he's already old...really old!"
Amused by this, I decided to press further. "And what about your sister, is Ely old?"
Claire rolled her eyes and sighed saying, "No mommy - Ely is a baby, babies are new!" (duh!)
"And what about me," I asked, "am I old?" I have to say that I was sweating it out waiting on her answer!
"Well..." she pondered, "you're not a baby, but your not old either. I guess you're still pretty new."

Regardless of the age we say we are, or the age that our drivers license says we are, or the age our kids think we are - we will always remain children of God. Entering into a relationship with Christ starts the clock over - it resets us back to a time of innocence and trust. I might not be that new anymore in my child's eyes (and certainly not in mine), but in God's eyes I am loved and perfect.

Wow - the world is still here!

So, after 3 months of faithfully blogging every day, I took a break over the last two days. Surprisingly, the world didn't fall apart, or quit turning! Being a pastor and a mom and a wife can be overwhelming at times. Regularly it seems that there are just not enough hours in the day to do all that needs to be done. I had the opportunity to rest this weekend at an awesome retreat in the woods of Livingston with other Young Clergy Families. What I took back with me this weekend, is that I am my biggest critic - I am my biggest obstacle. I want to be the best that I can for my family and my congregation, I want to serve God with all that I have, but true service includes rest; time to rest ones heart and mind, to lay down the busyness of the world and recenter in ourselves and in our God.

In you, sweet Lord Jesus, I rest.

Choking out the Sun...

This morning on our drive into school, Claire was looking out the window and suddenly cried out, "Oh no mommy - I see clouds!" She sounded so distraught! Confused, I turned to her and said, "Okay honey, I see some clouds too..."
"They're choking out the sun!" cried Claire.
After the awful weather we had last weekend, and the lake which was our street and front yard, I do understand that a few clouds might seem ominous to my poor kiddo - a warning of something much more sinister. I had Claire look up at the clouds again, and we named them - there were both cumulus and sirrus clouds floating around in a beautiful blue sky. Then we began to describe what the clouds looked like, and what shapes we imagined them to be. "That one is an elephant!" Claire exclaimed excitedly, no longer afraid at all of the fluffy balls, but now rather fascinated in their ever changing shapes.
I thinking the unknown poses such fear for kids of all ages. Once we can identify and name the bump in the night, the shadow in the dark, the dread peaking in on our lives - then things are not as scary, in fact some of them might seem quite beautiful.

Psalm 91 says:
He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust." Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare and from the deadly pestilence. He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys at midday. A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you. You will only observe with your eyes and see the punishment of the wicked. If you make the Most High your dwelling-- even the Lord, who is my refuge--then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent. For he will command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone. You will tread upon the lion and the cobra; you will trample the great lion and the serpent. "Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him; I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name. He will call upon me, and I will answer him; I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him. With long life will I satisfy him and show him my salvation."
May today be a beautiful day, a peaceful day spent not in fear of the unknown, but in honor of the Lord our God.

A Nice Reminder...

WHEN YOU THOUGHT I WASN'T LOOKING

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my
First painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately
Wanted to paint another one.


When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a
Stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind
To animals.


When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my
Favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little
Things can be the special things in life.


When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a
Prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always
Talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.


When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a
Meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I
Learned that we all have to help take care of each
Other.


When you thought I wasn't looking, I saw you give of
Your time and money to help people who had nothing,
And I learned that those who have something should
Give to those who don't.


When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take care
Of our house and everyone in it, and I learned we have
To take care of what we are given.


When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how you
Handled your responsibilities, even when you didn't
Feel good, and I learned that I would have to be
Responsible when I grow up.


When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears come
From your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things
Hurt, but it's all right to cry..


When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you
Cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be


When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of
life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and
Productive person when I grow up.


When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and
Wanted to say,'Thanks for all the things I saw when
You thought I wasn't looking.'

I'm just racooning!

Claire has been beyond excited about caterpillars at her school. Apparently, the class has been watching 10 caterpillars grow and eat. "Soon", Claire tells me, "they get really fat, and then they snuggle up inside a nice, soft raccoon, and then they rest. Then once their not tired anymore, they jump out of the raccoon, and the caterpillar turned into a butterfly!"
Today, I plan to take a cue from Claire and the weather, and just snuggle down into a nice, soft, 'raccoon'. Maybe, just maybe, if I can get enough rest, one day I'll emerge as a butterfly!!!

Upgrade = Mom 2.1

So I apparently have been upgraded in the the eyes of my 4 year old. She used to say that she was a kid, her sister was a baby, and I was a mom. If asked if I was a person, she would say "no - you're not a person, you are a mom." Today, for the first time, Claire referred to me as a 'people'. I asked her if I was a mom, and she said, "yeah (and rolled her eyes), but you're also a people" (duh mom!).
So today, I write to you as a proud 'people'. I wonder what I will be tomorrow? :)

1John 3:2 "Dear friends, now we are children of God, and what we will be has not yet been made known. But we know that when he appears, we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is."

Lent Day 30

Psalms 19:7-14 "The Message Bible"

7 The revelation of God is whole and pulls our lives together. The signposts of God are clear and point out the right road. 8 The life-maps of God are right, showing the way to joy. The directions of God are plain and easy on the eyes. 9 God's reputation is twenty-four-carat gold, with a lifetime guarantee. The decisions of God are accurate down to the nth degree. 10 God's Word is better than a diamond, better than a diamond set between emeralds. You'll like it better than strawberries in spring, better than red, ripe strawberries. 11 There's more: God's Word warns us of danger and directs us to hidden treasure. 12 Otherwise how will we find our way? Or know when we play the fool? 13 Clean the slate, God, so we can start the day fresh! Keep me from stupid sins, from thinking I can take over your work; Then I can start this day sun-washed, scrubbed clean of the grime of sin. 14 These are the words in my mouth; these are what I chew on and pray. Accept them when I place them on the morning altar, O God, my Altar-Rock, God, Priest-of-My-Altar.