Noni the Great!

 A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.
Lois Wyse

Almost 9 years ago my mother became the smartest woman in the world - and in the same instant, ironically, all my age old, infamous adolescent sins were magically forgiven.  What earth shattering occurrence brought about these two sudden changes?  The birth of my first child, Claire Lynn.  In that moment I became a mother, and I realized a love and fear, a pride and utter confusion that completely overwhelmed me (and to be honest, still does!).  I was good for the first 3 days - primarily because we were still in the hospital and the neo-natal nurses did pretty much everything.  Then, they kicked us out, and sent my husband and I home with this new little person.  There were no instructions included, no hints as to how to proceed, and none of the nurses - not a single one of them - came home with us.

Noni with Calyn

My first phone call was to my mom.

I have always been close to both of my parents.  We've gone through what most families go through: We've struggled with our normal share of adolescent crappiness (that would be me) - the angst of re-understanding our relationship when both parties are now adults (that would be my parents), and the transformation that comes when suddenly, there are new little people in the family!  

Noni being crafty

One of my favorite things to do is to watch my children interact with my parents.  There is something magical about the relationship between a child and their grandparent - I think it shows the beauty of an indulgent love - it helps us catch yet another glimpse of how deeply our God cares for each of us!  

Our God loves us indulgently!  Our God forgives and forgives unceasingly.  Our God makes allowances and gives us second chances (and third, and fourth).  Our God sees past our messiness and sees the beautiful child of God under the dirt, and the peanut butter, and the sin.  Our God has an endless supply of hugs and stories, smiles and cheese crackers.  (Okay - I might have gone a little far with that last metaphor - but you get what I mean!)

Today, as I gather with my family to celebrate our Noni (the grandmother formerly known as 'my mom'), I thank God for the gift of my mom.  She has taught me how to always strive for excellence, how to actually finish something that I have begun, that you never quit worrying about your children, and that butter makes everything better.  And as I watch both of my parents shamelessly spoil my children, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt, that as good as today might be - the best is yet to come!  :)

In Honor of the Rev. Dr. T. Randall Smith

I met the infamous Rev. Dr. T. Randall Smith during my candidacy journey as I walked towards ordination in the United Methodist Church.  I was then honored to serve as his associate pastor at Deer Park United Methodist Church  from 2005-2009.  For me - Randy is a mentor, a teacher, an adopted dad, a pest, a raging United Methodist and, most importantly, a friend.  Today is Randy's birthday - so I thought I'd put together a few words to honor my old, old, really old, really-really old friend!  

The Top 10 Things I Learned from the Rev. Dr. T. Randall Smith

In honor of his birthday, May 8th

1. A completely cluttered and trashed desk does not define me or my capabilities in this world.
2. When preparing for a funeral sermon, never make a person more or less than what they were in life - speak the truth and glorify God.
3. Books were not meant to be simply read - they were meant to be devoured!
4. The communion elements should always be lifted up and elevated - Grace was meant to be seen and eaten. 
5. Liturgicalness is indeed next to Godliness!  
6. What might seem like useless facts to some can actually be valuable nuggets of wisdom to be bestowed upon unsuspecting staff members.
7. A good, cold glass of sweet tea can fix even the deepest of hurts.
8. Austin is not just our state's capitol - but a challenge, and an opportunity for God's special way of seeing and loving all of humanity to be seen in the social justice movement of those called United Methodists.  
9. I am a 'Spring' in my coloring - therefore I should always wear a white robe - it accentuates my best colors.  (Randy is a winter).  
10. There are indeed two 7 o'clocks each day - its just that one is vile and should never be encountered.

Happy Birthday my friend!  Thank you for listening to me, guiding me, teaching me, tolerating me, pushing me and being my friend!

Now you're just somebody that I used to know...

So - it has been almost 3 years since I sat down and blogged.  Pretty hard to believe!  As I look back over my amazingly witty and creative insights recorded here (no - my humbleness has not decreased in the last 3 years), I am interested in seeing how 3 years can offer a pretty dramatically different view on life.  

K3 @ Easter

My kiddos are now 8, 4 and 3.  And though we still have lots of tough times, most days I don't want to kill anyone! They are wonderful and frustrating, endearing and exhausting and I am still completely in love!  

I left the best congregation in the world, Deer Park UMC for it's rival - the other best congregation in the world - First United Methodist Church in Pearland almost a year ago.  This change has challenged me to no end!  The last year has been wonderful and frustrating, endearing and exhausting, and I am once again completely in love!  

The Kraus's are introduced to FUMC Pearland

Looking back at my blogs is like looking back at old pictures of my children.  I recognize them - I remember what we were doing and how I felt in that moment, but the specifics feel a little fuzzy.  Life has moved on, and the hugely important specifics of those moments have made way for new interests, goals and deadlines.  

Ironically, my last blog 3 years ago was about Archbishop Oscar Romero's prayer/poem in which he calls us to step back and take the long view of life.   It is SO easy to get caught up in the madness of the moment - and as a pastor mommy there are many mad moments!  I think the three year ago me needed Romero's words of wisdom, and I KNOW the today me still needs to be reminded to take the long view!  

I've learned alot over the last 3 years, about me, about ministry, about God.  And I have learned to look forward to each day, and the blessings that God has in store for me.  I can't wait to see what God has in store for me tomorrow!  Something tells me that it's gonna be wonderful and frustrating, endearing and exhausting - and I bet...I just bet...that I will still be completely in love!   

The Prayer of Oscar Romero

"It helps now and then to step back and take the long view" - wise words from Archbishop Oscar Romero. The Archbishop served the people of El Salvador and was assassinated in 1980 while he was saying mass in San Salvador.

It helps, now and then, to step back and take a long view.

The kingdom is not only beyond our efforts,
it is even beyond our vision.

We accomplish in our lifetime only a tiny fraction
of the magnificent enterprise that is God's work.
Nothing we do is complete, which is a way of saying
that the kingdom always lies beyond us.
No statement says all that could be said.
No prayer fully expresses our faith.
No confession brings perfection.
No pastoral visit brings wholeness.
No program accomplishes the church's mission.
No set of goals and objectives includes everything.

This is what we are about.
We plant the seeds that one day will grow.
We water seeds already planted,
knowing that they hold future promise.

We lay foundations that will need further development.
We provide yeast that produces far beyond our capabilities.

We cannot do everything, and there is a sense of liberation
in realizing that. This enables us to do something,
and to do it very well. It may be incomplete,
but it is a beginning, a step along the way,
an opportunity for the Lord's grace to enter and do the rest.

We may never see the end results, but that is the difference
between the master builder and the worker.

We are workers, not master builders; ministers, not messiahs.
We are prophets of a future not our own.
Amen.

Just another Manic Monday!

Here we go again! Monday morning hits, and our crazy routine resumes:

• wake up (after slapping the incessant alarm clock over and over again)
• get ready
• get kindergartner up and dressed and to the breakfast table
• prepare a gourmet breakfast (aka cereal)
  
• get toddler up, comfort and insert medicine as still sick
• get starving baby up (okay in reality she is already up and screaming) and pop bottle in mouth
• make lunch
• check 'take home' school folder to see what we should have done over the weekend (and obviously didn't)
• nag the child who has no sense of time until she is in the car (nice)
  
• drop off kid #1 at school
• stop and get gas (because the magic fairies didn't fill up my car while I slept once again - really fairies! help a girl out!)
• fight the roads into work
• attempt to pick up a trashed office (kid #1 spent 12 hours with me in office yesterday)
• begin to-do list
• give up on to-do list
  
• decide to blog

Okay - giving up on my 'to-do' list is not a normal part of my routine. I'm admittedly a little obsessive compulsive about getting things done. Case in point - this morning my almost 2 year old was still feeling bad. My sweet almost 6 year old decided she wanted to comfort her baby sister. (and hey, if it meant procrastinating getting ready I'm sure she saw it as a win-win).
"Claire," I said, "we have to get our job done first. Finish getting ready, and then you can love your sister."
I know, I know - awful right! I didn't mean it the way it sounded. But as I reflected on this awful parenting moment during the rest of the morning shuffle, I realized once again that my OCD is getting the best of me.
God never shows up on my 'to-do' list. My list is made up of action items. Spending time with God is not really an action kinda thing. And yet my loving God is way more important than anything else I have on my list for today or any day, just as loving her little sister was more important to Claire than getting to school on time.
So, I will learn from my kiddo today. I will do my best to have my priorities be made evident in my actions.

God before me, God behind me, God beside me, God within me, God on the top of my 'to-do' list!

Anticipation

Ely, anxiously waiting for 'wubby' (her blanket) to wash.

I realized today that I don't anticipate things the way I once did. Maybe this is just me, or a universal reality of getting older. As a child I remember that the days before Christmas were agonizingly slow - as I yearned for and dreamed of Christmas morning. The first day of school brought such excitement that I never slept the night before. Even the upcoming weekend brought a giddy anticipation as I would plan outings and fun. But now as an adult, it seems that I have outgrown the ability to be overcome in anticipation - maybe I'm too busy to anticipate!
As Christians, we both live in the midst of the Kingdom of God and anticipate the coming of the Kingdom of God. We have an 'already, but not yet' kind of existence. By its very nature the life of a Christian is a life of anticipation; Looking forward to more - a fuller life in Christ and ultimately in death an eternal life in Christ. Today, if only for a moment, I will stop and anticipate.
Christ has died, Christ has risen, Christ WILL come again!

"Life" as brought to you by Jesus

My family has been enjoying the new series "Life" on the Discovery channel.  Videographers traveled to the ends of the earth, and filmed countless hours of nature and wildlife to present this spectacular show.  In order to help fund this project, the creators have taken full advantage of corporate sponsorship.  Consequently, during the commercial breaks, the audience hears the deep voice of an announcer state, "This is Life, as brought to you by Target."  The first time I hear this I couldn't help but give a bark of indignant laughter!  Don't get me wrong, I love shopping at Target stores.  Target provides me with food, clothing and assorted sundries - but Life has been provided for me by God and God alone! 
Today is a gift - I have not earned it and I do not deserve it.  I will dedicate this day to loving Jesus!

Popcorn Philosophy

My name is Melody Kraus, and I am a popcorn-aholic; More specifically, the kettle corn flavor, because a girl needs a little sugar in with her afternoon snack! Some days I just push the 'popcorn' button on my microwave and trust in the power of GE to produce my bag of yummy. Other days, when my controlling nature gets the best of me, I stand in front of the microwave counting pops, and trying to manually decide the best time to extract my bag of popcorn hoping to achieve maximum poppage - the goal being no kernels left. The struggle with this plan is that there is a very fine line between maximum poppage, and burned up nasty popcorn. The moral of my story is that my control issues = a smelly house/office and a hungry tummy. Just as I know that GE's plan is better than my own, I also know that God's plan for my life is better than my own. But unfortunately, I often choose not to trust in God's timing, and rather trust in my own - with the same general success that I see from my popcorn debacles. And so, as I sit in front of my computer with the distinctive aroma of burned pop-secret floating thru the air, I once again commit to trust in God's plan for me. Surely God is better at this timing thing than I am!

I think I can, I think I can, I think I can

Doubt - I don't know if it is Satan or sin, but doubt is certainly senseless! It's just not logical (or time efficient) to spend time doubting our abilities. The only rewards we get from doubting are sleepless nights and indigestion. Today I choose to think that I can do something (rather than doubting if I can anything!). It might not be perfect - but I can try. I think that's what God asks of us - to try. God can turn our meager offerings into food for the multitudes. So here you go God - it's not much, but I give you me.

Choo! Choo!

Totally Inconvenient!

My 'me' time is comprised of listening to books on tape during my commute to and from work. (I know this is rather pathetic, but with 3 kids age 5 and under - you take what you can get!) Currently, I am listening to One Fifth Avenue, by Candace Bushnell. Bushnell is also the author of Sex and the City, of which you might be more familiar. One Fifth Avenue is a story about a historic building in the midst of NYC, and the sordid details of the residents. This morning, I heard a bit that made me pull over and rewind - then rewind and play over and over again while I furiously tried to write it down. This conversation is between Annalisa Rice, a newly rich socialite in training and her famous stylist, Noreen. Here is a snippet of the dialogue:
Noreen, "You're rich. You can do anything you want. There's no boogey man around the corner who's going to punish you!"
"I thought God punished us." Annalisa said under her breath
"God?" Noreen said, "I've never heard of such a thing! Spirituality is only for show! Astrology - yes. Tarot cards - yes. Wuiji boards, scientology, Kendallah, even 'born agains' - yes. But a real God - that would be inconvenient!"

When I heard this my mouth fell open - I don't know if the author was going for shock value with this statement, but she got it from me! But as I have continued to mull this little exchange over, I have to say that I agree with the statement. God isn't terribly convenient. Loving God, and living for God can be even less convenient - down right messy at times. But, it probably wasn't terribly convenient for God to create me - or watch his only son die to save me - or to have to watch me fall short of his plan every day. How lucky we are that God is willing to overlook the inconveniences of humanity!

Easter People

A wise man once told me that if you could be happy in life doing anything other than being a pastor, you probably should. Pastoring is not for the faint of heart (or the thin skinned)! But then there are the days that make everything so worth it! The days that I learn new ways of understanding God from my Confirmands. The day that my congregation pastors me. The days that I can feel the love for God and neighbor emanating so strongly from the gathered body of Christ that is is overwhelming! There is nothing more beautiful than the body of Christ uniting together in Worship. Praise be to God for the honor of being a part of the amazing congregation of Deer Park United Methodist Church!

Today will be =

This morning on the way to school I asked Claire (my 5 1/2 year old) what kind of day she was going to have at school. "I don't know mom, she answered, "I haven't had my day yet."
"But what kind of day will you have?", I asked, "Good, great, awesome? Let's not wait and see, but rather decide now and help it happen!"
Today I pick an awesome day - filled with living life and loving God. If I choose awesome, I'm pretty sure I'll find some awesome. What kind of day will you have?

Because God's plan is so much better than mine!

Every day I wake up and intentionally give the day to God. And most days - often before my feet have even hit the floor - I take the day right back. Not intentionally mind you, but I grab that control back just the same. Rationally I know this is beyond counter productive - but the control freak in me rages on. God's plans might not look like mine, but only because they are so much better than anything I could ever begin to imagine! So - I give this day to God. And when I inevitably find myself grabbing it back, I will again give this day to God. Lord, let there be less off me, and more of you!

Gotta love the Random

Today as I was driving in to the church I had a latent old memory jump up into my conscious mind. I don't remember what I had for dinner yesterday, I don't even remember going to bed last night, but for a moment this morning I clearly remembered being 16 years old, and sitting in my high school gym for a school assembly. The school had brought in a team of motivational speakers called the "Power Team". Each member of this team was bigger than the last - huge muscle laden men in tight red and blue spandex outfits. Their message was that each of us has within us the strength we need to succeed in this world (the underlying message that was vaguely mentioned was that we get this strength from God - remember, we were in a public school, so they had to be on the down low). The Power Team emphasized this message by performing amazing feats of human strength - lifting huge amounts of weights, tearing phone books in two, blowing up a hot water bottle, lifting teenagers over their heads.
This morning my prayer is for strength. I don't need or want to be able to tear a phone book in two (though it would make for an awesome children's sermon illustration!), but what I do want and desperately need is enough strength to get through each day. On my own I am clumsy and weak, but "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". Philippians 4:13

A God Moment

This weekend, I was cradling Elyse, my 14 month old, in my arms and just admiring her; staring at her beautiful hair, tickling her little Buddha belly, and kissing her toes (as she repeatedly attempted to shove her feet into my mouth). It was one of those parent moments when you feel overwhelmed at the perfection that is your child, and your heart aches in your chest from love and pride. And then, in the midst of my mommy-moment, the Holy Spirit reached out and grabbed hold. I suddenly had this realization that the way I was feeling toward my own child in this moment is exactly how God feels about me. God, the creator of our universe, the sustainer of all life, looks at each of his children (that would include you and me!) with wonder, and overwhelming love and pride. What a lucky group we are!

Self Care

About a month ago I came across a little daily devotional book on my book shelf. I've had if for some time, but had never read it. Its title is Meditations for Women who do to Much (clearly someone who doesn't know me at all must have gifted this little tome to me!). The devotion for today spoke of the binding power of guilt, and how we often feel driven to always place our energies outside of ourselves, feeling overwhelmingly guilty if we keep anything for us. Ever fiber of my being knows this kind of guilt, and an inherent drive to always be doing for others. Part of this inclination is what drew me into a life of Ministry. The author says, "We have to take care of ourselves before we can clearly and cleanly give to others." Logically, I know this to be true, but making my instincts and inclinations believe (and behave) is another story completely. Today, my prayer is that we would each spend a moment in self reflection, taking stock of who and what we are in this moment. How is it with your soul? Do you need to step up, or step back. I give you permission, I give me permission to save some of our energies for us. It is only when we care for ourselves that we can best give to others. We must honor and nurture the Holy Spirit within, before we can ever begin to share Christ with the word around us.

Baby Flowers

Over the weekend, I picked up a little flower growing kit from Joann's Fabrics. It came with a soil pellet, tiny terra cotta pot, and seed packet. Claire and I mixed up the soil and carefully planted the seeds and placed our little experiment in the kitchen window. Claire and I have planted various things before, and she has learned that it normally takes several days if not a week to see any progress. Apparently, these seeds are different! The next morning, just a little over 12 hours from when they had been planted we saw several of the little plants pushing up above the dirt. Now, three days later, all of the seeds have sprouted and stretched over an inch above the soil line. It's incredible! All we have done is add a little water, keeping the soil moist. The seeds already have included within themselves all the nutrients they need to start out in life.
Just like the seeds, we, as children of God, have within ourselves all that we need to spring forth and grow in life. In the power of the Holy Spirit, we have a piece of the divine inside of us, giving us the strength to reach up towards are all loving Creator. Today I pray that each of us would realize how special we are to God, how much strength we each possess, and how beautiful and fulfilling it can be to stretch our arms up to our God.

Overwhelmed....as always!

I read a quote this morning that said, "Feeling overwhelmed isn't surprising. Being surprised about it is." Well hallelujah! It feels nice to have someone honor my daily feelings of being overwhelmed. I think somewhere, I got this crazy idea in my head that I was supposed to be in control of my life. You might also suffer from this delusional line of thinking. As Christians, we profess to have Jesus control our lives, but that doesn't stop us from wanting to be a prime adviser as to how that should look and feel. My prayer for today is to stop futilely grasping for control, and allow God - my Creator, Savior and Sustainer to take the reigns of my life. Surely He can do a better job! :)

A Rainy Day Perspective

When I look out of the window and see dark skies and rain pouring down, I think of the hassle of getting wet, of commuting on slick roads, and no hope of a good hair day. When Claire looks out at a rainy day, she dances for joy at the prospect of donning her pink kitty cat galoshes, yellow puppy dog rain coat, and carrying her rubber ducky umbrella. Same day, same circumstances, different perspectives. Each morning we have a choice as to how we will approach this day that God has given us. Today - I chose to honor my Creator, and praise God in this storm!

Recession or Depression

I heard a quote once that said, "It is a recession when your neighbor loses his job, it's a depression when YOU lose your job." Well, according to this the world, or at least the Kraus house, has been in a depression for about 6 weeks now. It is easy to trust in God's provision when pay checks are rolling in on time, and bills are under control. It gets a little sticky when you become unable to provide for yourself. This time has been a lesson on truly trusting in God - for guidance and provision. I don't know what God's plan is, or what is going on with God's timing, but my prayer today is to just trust. I pray that I can let go, and fully trust in God - for an answer, a plan and a beautiful future.