Gotta love the Random

Today as I was driving in to the church I had a latent old memory jump up into my conscious mind. I don't remember what I had for dinner yesterday, I don't even remember going to bed last night, but for a moment this morning I clearly remembered being 16 years old, and sitting in my high school gym for a school assembly. The school had brought in a team of motivational speakers called the "Power Team". Each member of this team was bigger than the last - huge muscle laden men in tight red and blue spandex outfits. Their message was that each of us has within us the strength we need to succeed in this world (the underlying message that was vaguely mentioned was that we get this strength from God - remember, we were in a public school, so they had to be on the down low). The Power Team emphasized this message by performing amazing feats of human strength - lifting huge amounts of weights, tearing phone books in two, blowing up a hot water bottle, lifting teenagers over their heads.
This morning my prayer is for strength. I don't need or want to be able to tear a phone book in two (though it would make for an awesome children's sermon illustration!), but what I do want and desperately need is enough strength to get through each day. On my own I am clumsy and weak, but "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". Philippians 4:13

A God Moment

This weekend, I was cradling Elyse, my 14 month old, in my arms and just admiring her; staring at her beautiful hair, tickling her little Buddha belly, and kissing her toes (as she repeatedly attempted to shove her feet into my mouth). It was one of those parent moments when you feel overwhelmed at the perfection that is your child, and your heart aches in your chest from love and pride. And then, in the midst of my mommy-moment, the Holy Spirit reached out and grabbed hold. I suddenly had this realization that the way I was feeling toward my own child in this moment is exactly how God feels about me. God, the creator of our universe, the sustainer of all life, looks at each of his children (that would include you and me!) with wonder, and overwhelming love and pride. What a lucky group we are!

Self Care

About a month ago I came across a little daily devotional book on my book shelf. I've had if for some time, but had never read it. Its title is Meditations for Women who do to Much (clearly someone who doesn't know me at all must have gifted this little tome to me!). The devotion for today spoke of the binding power of guilt, and how we often feel driven to always place our energies outside of ourselves, feeling overwhelmingly guilty if we keep anything for us. Ever fiber of my being knows this kind of guilt, and an inherent drive to always be doing for others. Part of this inclination is what drew me into a life of Ministry. The author says, "We have to take care of ourselves before we can clearly and cleanly give to others." Logically, I know this to be true, but making my instincts and inclinations believe (and behave) is another story completely. Today, my prayer is that we would each spend a moment in self reflection, taking stock of who and what we are in this moment. How is it with your soul? Do you need to step up, or step back. I give you permission, I give me permission to save some of our energies for us. It is only when we care for ourselves that we can best give to others. We must honor and nurture the Holy Spirit within, before we can ever begin to share Christ with the word around us.

Baby Flowers

Over the weekend, I picked up a little flower growing kit from Joann's Fabrics. It came with a soil pellet, tiny terra cotta pot, and seed packet. Claire and I mixed up the soil and carefully planted the seeds and placed our little experiment in the kitchen window. Claire and I have planted various things before, and she has learned that it normally takes several days if not a week to see any progress. Apparently, these seeds are different! The next morning, just a little over 12 hours from when they had been planted we saw several of the little plants pushing up above the dirt. Now, three days later, all of the seeds have sprouted and stretched over an inch above the soil line. It's incredible! All we have done is add a little water, keeping the soil moist. The seeds already have included within themselves all the nutrients they need to start out in life.
Just like the seeds, we, as children of God, have within ourselves all that we need to spring forth and grow in life. In the power of the Holy Spirit, we have a piece of the divine inside of us, giving us the strength to reach up towards are all loving Creator. Today I pray that each of us would realize how special we are to God, how much strength we each possess, and how beautiful and fulfilling it can be to stretch our arms up to our God.

Overwhelmed....as always!

I read a quote this morning that said, "Feeling overwhelmed isn't surprising. Being surprised about it is." Well hallelujah! It feels nice to have someone honor my daily feelings of being overwhelmed. I think somewhere, I got this crazy idea in my head that I was supposed to be in control of my life. You might also suffer from this delusional line of thinking. As Christians, we profess to have Jesus control our lives, but that doesn't stop us from wanting to be a prime adviser as to how that should look and feel. My prayer for today is to stop futilely grasping for control, and allow God - my Creator, Savior and Sustainer to take the reigns of my life. Surely He can do a better job! :)

A Rainy Day Perspective

When I look out of the window and see dark skies and rain pouring down, I think of the hassle of getting wet, of commuting on slick roads, and no hope of a good hair day. When Claire looks out at a rainy day, she dances for joy at the prospect of donning her pink kitty cat galoshes, yellow puppy dog rain coat, and carrying her rubber ducky umbrella. Same day, same circumstances, different perspectives. Each morning we have a choice as to how we will approach this day that God has given us. Today - I chose to honor my Creator, and praise God in this storm!

Recession or Depression

I heard a quote once that said, "It is a recession when your neighbor loses his job, it's a depression when YOU lose your job." Well, according to this the world, or at least the Kraus house, has been in a depression for about 6 weeks now. It is easy to trust in God's provision when pay checks are rolling in on time, and bills are under control. It gets a little sticky when you become unable to provide for yourself. This time has been a lesson on truly trusting in God - for guidance and provision. I don't know what God's plan is, or what is going on with God's timing, but my prayer today is to just trust. I pray that I can let go, and fully trust in God - for an answer, a plan and a beautiful future.

My Chubby Bubby

I'm sitting here at the kitchen desk watching my 14 month old throw down lunch as if it might be stolen from her at any minute. She is just the cutest little chubby baby in the world! (even with her current coat of milk, broccoli and cracker grime). When I look into the shining faces of my children, for a moment it seems that everything is right in the world. Children represent promise and possibility - a hope for tomorrow. They are a reminder of the awesome creative power of our loving God. Today I praise God for his abundance of blessings!

I am a People

Yesterday, I spent an hour of my labor day in quality time with the latest People Style Watch magazine. I gave my mom a subscription to this magazine for her birthday so she could be up on the latest trends for her jewelry making business. As I thumbed through the pages, I saw what all the hottest celebrities were wearing (I'm embarrassed to say, I'm so out of the loop I didn't know who have of these celebrities were!). The latest trends for Fall, and how to accessorize them took another section of the magazine. Basically, like all good women's magazines, I was told what to wear, and how to look in order to be 'in' like the famous people are.
It made me ponder the question - Who defines me? Do I allow myself to be defined by trends, friends, family, societal values and standards - or do I find my self understanding in my relationship with God?
Today I ask you to ask yourself the same question - Who defines you? Who or what structures your self understanding? I pray that we would all allow our all knowing, and all loving God to be our source of strength, and definition!

Wonder Working Power

Anyone who has ever successfully swung a baseball bat, pick axe, or sledge hammer knows that you have to draw power from your entire body for the swing. If you only use the strength of your arms, then the result will always be weak. For the most power, your entire body has to be part of the process. The same is true for the words that we speak. Empty words are just that - empty and powerless. But words, promises, creeds, prayers said with our whole being have power and strength far beyond the puff of air that leaves our lips.

I pray that today we will say what me mean, and mean what we say, with power, strength and the grace and wisdom of our Lord, Jesus Christ!

Loving your Neighbor

An awesome quote from C.S. Lewis' Mere Christianity:

Do not waste time bothering with whether you 'love' your neighbor. Act as if you did. As soon as we do this we find one of the great secrets. When you are behaving as if you loved someone, you will presently come to love him."

The Dream Maker

At "meet and greet" the teacher day, Claire's teacher gave each student a pretty glass stone along with a slip of paper. The paper instructed the kids to place the stone under their pillow while they slept, so that they might have beautiful dreams of their first day of Kindergarten, and so that all those dreams might come true. Claire was totally enamored with the stone - it was pretty and green and shiny, right up her alley! When it came time to tuck Claire into bed that night, she was really hesitant to place the stone under her pillow. Misunderstanding her concern, I assured her that she wouldn't lose the stone. Her fear wasn't that the stone would be lost, but that the stone would work as the note had promised, making, 'all of her dreams come true'; a pretty horrifying prospect to my little literal 5 year old. But hey - I'm right there with her, I'm a grown adult and I certainly wouldn't want some of my dreams to follow me into waking reality!
There are 2 kinds of dreaming, the kind that happens at night, when our subconscious mind takes over and runs rampant, and the kind that happens during the day, when our hearts take over, we allow convention to fall away, and our wants and wishes to flourish. Night time dreams are unavoidable, we just hope for more ones about flying than falling. Day time dreams are optional, and my prayer for today is that all of us would choose to dream. Just for a moment each day, let your heart rule, allow your soul to reach out and be who and what you have hoped to be.

the beating of our hearts is the only sound....

Today began my weekly visits to the dr - not a bench mark I have been looking forward to. Because of some of my health conditions, my baby is at risk for developing a heart blockage. So, every week I schlep down to the Medical Center, pay to park, trek up through 2 elevators and 22 floors of dr's offices, wait in a waiting room forever, and then am hooked up to a fetal monitoring system to listen to baby #3's heart beat for 10 minutes. (I enjoyed the same routine with baby #2 - with our first born we were blissfully unaware of the possible problems).
It seems that my life is one big rush of craziness from sunrise until I crash at night. This is in part why I haven't been looking forward to the weekly dr's visits - just one more thing I have to try and work into an already overflowing day. I know that I am not unique in my crazy schedule - I think just about everyone I know has an addiction to doing to much, and being chronically over busy. We rush and rush, going and blowing, and then wonder why we feel disconnected to our faith life. Unfortunately - full day planners don't tend to lend themselves to quality quiet time with Jesus.
When I am hooked up to the fetal monitoring, I am stuck - I can't move, can't read, can't talk on the phone. For at least 10 minutes, I can do nothing else but lay there and listen to the baby's heart beat, pounding away. As much as I grumble about having to be there - I cherish those 10 minutes each week. I listen to that rapidly pounding heart, and ponder the wonder of God's creative powers. Each of us was given life and breath by our awesome Creator God, and each of us was given the purpose of living a life in Christ. Not a life lived for the world, but a life lived for God. I kinda think it's the least we can do...
Today I challenge you to spend a few quiet minutes listening to your own heart beat. Let your busy mind be stilled, just for a moment, and praise our awe inspiring God, who has created and IS creating!

Over-Indulged....

I just had a fantastic lunch at Antonio's here in Deer Park, and have waddled back to church with an uncomfortably full stomach. I can't help it! Awesome Italian food just cries out to be over indulged upon! My prayer for today is that I wish I craved quiet time with God, the same way I crave fettuccine alfredo - or better yet chocolate!